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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979554">please don't go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/myouicherie/pseuds/myouicherie'>myouicherie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IZONE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, don't know what else to say hope you enjoy it, there's a time skip at one point</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:46:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,240</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27979554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/myouicherie/pseuds/myouicherie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chaewon is going to leave, but Wonyoung is not ready to say goodbye.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jang Wonyoung/Kim Chaewon (IZONE)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>please don't go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One.</p><p>Two.</p><p>Three.</p><p>A scream resonated in the once silent room, soon followed by a round of excited shouts and loud clapping of hands.</p><p>Almost all of the people reunited in the room ran towards the two girls who had just entered the place. One of them was smiling proudly at herself, the other had her mouth agape, clearly surprised.</p><p>Wonyoung didn't dare to move towards them. Instead, she was one of the few people who stayed behind, while everyone else was congratulating one of the two girls.</p><p>Smiles were thrown at each other, laughs were shared together; everyone seemed to be very bubbly that night. Wonyoung couldn't quite understand why.</p><p>Actually, she knew the reason why they were so cheerful very well. Had it been a different situation, she was sure she'd be joining in on the celebrating as well. However, there was something keeping her from enjoying herself; a feeling she had tried so hard to bury deep inside, but kept resurfacing to slap her in the face each time.</p><p>She saw Yujin turn around once she realised she was not by her side anymore. After spotting Wonyoung, Yujin gestured for her to come closer so that she could give her congratulations to the girl as well.</p><p>Wonyoung considered playing it off, tell her that she would do it later and then avoid it for the rest of the night. Yujin wouldn't question it too much, Wonyoung could easily find a way to get away with it.</p><p>She changed her mind as soon as she got a glimpse of <em>her</em>. Wonyoung knew she would never be able to pull it off. She remembered all the time the two of them had jokingly fought about Wonyoung being immature because of her young age; she would always argue that age meant nothing when it came to maturity.</p><p>Wonyoung finally made up her mind. She needed to show the girl standing in the middle of the room that she was indeed mature before it was too late. She knew she wouldn't get a second chance.</p><p>She walked slowly towards the cheering crowd, her steps were insecure and Wonyoung came to the realisation that she didn't want to be there. Not when she could easily imagine what was going to happen once the night was over.</p><p>When she got close enough to Yujin, her best friend grabbed her hand and dragged her to the front of the crowd, muttering under her breath words Wonyoung did not try to decipher. When Yujin finally stopped and Wonyoung looked up, she held her breath, taking in the sight in front of her eyes.</p><p>Chaewon was simply standing there, a delightful smile on her lips and shining eyes. She wasn't doing much apart from smiling nicely to some friends, yet Wonyoung thought she had never looked so beautiful before.</p><p>Chaewon turned to talk to Hitomi, while Minjoo was by her side. She had been the one that had brought her there for the surprise.</p><p>She felt Yujin nudge her slightly when Hitomi stepped away to let others talk to her.</p><p>"Go and tell her that you're proud of her!" Yujin exclaimed in her ear, sounding way too enthusiastic. Wonyoung looked at her as if she had gone completely crazy, then proceeded to shake her head frantically. There was no way she was going to find the courage to get any nearer to Chaewon and actually manage to talk to her.</p><p>However, courage was not needed since Yujin had already thought about everything. Wonyoung almost fell to the ground when she was suddenly pushed towards Chaewon. Yujin was snickering while she enjoyed the panicked expression on her best friend's face. If Wonyoung hadn't been too busy freaking out, she'd be fuming.</p><p>Oblivious to what had just happened, Chaewon smiled brightly once her eyes settled on Wonyoung. Before the latter could say anything, she was engulfed in a hug. Wonyoung blushed, thinking that Chaewon wasn't the affectionate type. Taking the situation at hand though, it had actually made sense for her to be so excited.</p><p>"Did you have something to do with this? I can't believe you. I thought I had been clear when I said I didn't want to celebrate."</p><p>Wonyoung found herself smiling spontaneously. She wondered whether Chaewon was aware she looked the cutest when she pouted.</p><p>As soon as she spoke up, Wonyoung had noticed that her voice sounded more lively than usual. It warmed her heart knowing that she was having a good time.</p><p>Wonyoung wished she could say the same for herself.</p><p>She mustered up the courage — not having much choice, thanks to Yujin — and faked a smile. She hoped it would be enough.</p><p>"We couldn't just let you graduate college without throwing a party!" She spoke loudly so that Chaewon could hear her through the noise of people chatting here and there. "Especially since you had to set the bar so high to everyone else and graduate a year earlier."</p><p>Although Wonyoung was simply joking around, Chaewon seemed to be touched by her words, her eyes glistening under the bright lights of the room.</p><p>"I still can't believe it." She mumbled as she bit her bottom lip, her eyes resting on her hands. "It feels like a dream."</p><p>Wonyoung wanted to tell her that she wished it was a dream. That way, she could wake up and everything would be back to normal.</p><p>However, she knew better than that.</p><p>She knew how smart Chaewon was and how hard she had worked to be able to graduate a year earlier. Late nights and early mornings the two had spent together to study and finish their projects. Yet Wonyoung would always fall asleep in the midst of their studying, while Chaewon made fun of her when she would wake up later and realise that she had been once again unproductive.</p><p>There was one thing Wonyoung was sure of and that was the fact that she was extremely thankful to Chaewon's previous roommate, Yena, who had decided to drop out just as she enrolled, making her able to share a room with the girl for two whole years.</p><p>Or, maybe, Wonyoung should be cursing the girl since all those nights and mornings spent together were going turn into mere memories as Chaewon was moving out and Wonyoung would have to get used to living without her.</p><p>Wonyoung couldn't imagine her life without Chaewon. She didn't want to. So, she forced herself to stop the tears threatening to spill from her eyes and made sure to leave a quick kiss on Chaewon's cheek before walking away from her.</p><p>Chaewon stared at her back confusedly as she left.</p><p>Perhaps, Wonyoung thought that she had been subtle, but Chaewon hadn't missed the way her eyes suddenly got watery and she acted so out of character. She knew her too well.</p><p>As other people approached her, Chaewon diverted her eyes from the girl to look at the people standing in front of her. Still, she made a mental note to keep an eye on Wonyoung for the rest of the night.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—</p>
</div>The party was going great, Wonyoung noticed after her second drink. Some people were dancing carelessly on the dance floor, others were by the counter asking for a drink. There were also people sitting at a table, simply chatting together.<p>When Wonyoung saw a couple starting to make out, she suddenly turned away. Enough observing the situation for the night.</p><p>Standing against a wall, she felt like an outsider.</p><p>Usually, she'd be running after Yujin, squeezing Hitomi's cheeks and be bewildered because of how soft they were. She'd be dancing with everyone else, talking to Minjoo, trying to convince her to make a move on Yujin. Mostly, she'd be talking to Chaewon, slowly falling more and more in love with her.</p><p>However, the mere thought that this would be the last time she'd get to party with Chaewon for a long time made her feel too gloomy to actually want to party, join the group of girls laughing and dancing together.</p><p>Her eyes caught a brief glimpse of Chaewon's smile once again and Wonyoung wondered how she was going to survive without seeing that smile everyday. How could she keep going on without Chaewon by her side?</p><p>She knew that she was exaggerating, that her life wasn't going to end the day Chaewon moved out of the dorm. Nevertheless, Wonyoung had been in love with her roommate for one year and a half and she couldn't help but feel uneasy, disheartened.</p><p>Suddenly, she regretted never confessing to her. Not like doing so would have changed things anyways.</p><p>Chaewon would still graduate earlier than her and Wonyoung would be left behind, trying to fill the empty spot Chaewon had left in her life.</p><p>She was reminded again of the talk she had had with Hyewon some days prior. Unaware of Wonyoung's actual feelings, Hyewon had told her how happy Chaewon was to be graduating early because that meant she could finally move to New York where her friend, Eunbi, had been keeping her a spot at her parents' enterprise.</p><p>Wonyoung had never met Eunbi, but she already knew that she didn't like her. Why? Because she was taking Chaewon away from her, in a city that was on the other side of the globe.</p><p>Ever since she became aware of Chaewon's ambitious plans, Wonyoung's world fell apart. She went from avoiding going back to the dorm — she couldn't stand seeing Chaewon, knowing she'd have to say goodbye to her — to wanting to spend as much time as possible with the girl before they'd have to part ways. To top it all, she would spend most of her nights awake, staring at the pictures of Chaewon and her on her phone, crying silently.</p><p>She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't see nor hear someone slowly walk towards her, before leaning on the white wall.</p><p>"Why are you here all alone?" Chaewon didn't try to mask her worry. She had noticed Wonyoung had been looking glum lately and she had yet to understand why.</p><p>She didn't want to pressure the girl into talking to her when she didn't want to. If she felt like telling her, Wonyoung would be the one to look for her in the first place.</p><p>Still, as she didn't say a word, not even hinted to something being wrong, but acting like nothing was happening and everything was normal, Chaewon was starting to lose her mind.</p><p>"I don't want to be too tired." Wonyoung lied easily, getting accustomed to it after having been doing it for a few days. "I have to study for an exam tomorrow."</p><p>Chaewon bit her lip before furrowing her eyebrows. "Really?" She asked her and Wonyoung nodded her head in response. Chaewon pouted, Wonyoung's eyes instantly softened.</p><p>"But I thought you would help me pack my things."</p><p>"I would?" Wonyoung's voice was laced with confusion, not remembering ever saying something like that to the girl. Chaewon's lips stretched into a smile and she giggled softly.</p><p>"Actually, I made that up." Chaewon revealed with a mischievous smirk. "But I was hoping that I'd do my puppy eyes and convince you to help me." She continued and she could see Wonyoung nod her head slightly, following her words. "Maybe do all the work for me."</p><p>"There's no way I'm doing that!" Wonyoung interrupted her, sounding rather surprised. Chaeyoung's giggles turned into a fit of laughter. "I can't believe you wanted to do that."</p><p>Chaewon's laughter must have been contagious because right after uttering those words Wonyoung started laughing too.</p><p>"At least you're laughing now."</p><p>The comment was supposed to stay in Chaewon's head, but she didn't mind having said it out loud. Seeing Wonyoung turn into a blushing mess at her words was definitely worth it.</p><p>While Chaewon enjoyed the sight of a red-cheeked Wonyoung, the latter was taken aback by her words, her heart fluttering at how sincere they sounded.</p><p>Wonyoung wondered if she had really been so obvious. She felt a pang in her heart when she realised that Chaewon probably knew that she was not having fun at her surprise party. Her mood changed once again.</p><p>"I'm sorry." She murmured as she looked down at the ground, fumbling nervously with her hands. Chaewon noticed how her voice trembled, how she was keeping her head down without looking at her.</p><p>A sudden realisation hit her; Wonyoung hadn't held eye contact with her ever since the night had started.</p><p>Was she avoiding her?</p><p>The concern in her eyes was evident as she stared at Wonyoung picking at her own nails. The worry was so much that she didn't even didn't think twice before suddenly taking Wonyoung's hands in hers.</p><p>She was surprised at her own action, but she was glad she had done it since it had made the other girl finally look up. Wonyoung's expression matched her own, it was one of surprise but there was something more in hers.</p><p>Firstly, the fair blush on her cheeks which Chaewon could not notice due to the dimmed lights. Secondly, the tears which were about to pour onto her cheeks.</p><p>"Why are you sorry?" Chaewon found the strength to ask her as she recomposed herself.</p><p>Wonyoung couldn't help but think about how soft Chaewon's hands were to the touch. Just like her voice whenever she was talking to her. Or the smile she gave her when their eyes met — Wonyoung liked to think that she only smiled at her that way.</p><p>Do not get her started on her gaze — even when she wanted to act tough, the soft glint in her eyes always betrayed her. Her hair was soft too, Wonyoung knew because she often found herself brushing with her fingers through Chaewon's hair to calm her down when she got too stressed.</p><p>Wonyoung would miss her so <em>much</em>.</p><p>"Because I'm just being a burden to you right now." She mumbled with a shaky voice, every ounce of confidence she had gone. "You should be having fun with the girls. Instead, you're here because I can't control my feelings."</p><p>Wonyoung had never meant to say all of that. She didn't think she'd ever have to courage to. However, as she kept staring at Chaewon's warm eyes, seeing the way they softened when they saw how scared Wonyoung was, she couldn't help but open her heart to her.</p><p>In that moment, lost in Chaewon's eyes and the way she looked at her with such attention and care, Wonyoung felt safe for the first time in a long time.</p><p>"You should never feel sorry for the way you feel." Chaewon told her in a delicate voice, while putting a strand of Wonyoung's hair behind her ear with her right hand. Her fingers lingered on her cheek for some seconds. Wonyoung's ear tinted red at the prolonged touch. "We can't control our feelings, neither should we try to suppress them. So, why don't you tell me what's wrong? If you want to, of course."</p><p>Wonyoung swore she had never seen Chaewon be so gentle with anyone. She spoke slowly, looking her straight in the eyes, making sure she was listening to every word so that she would stop blaming herself for something she could do nothing about.</p><p>In a way, Wonyoung admired her for always being so composed, so attentive. It looked like Chaewon always had everything under control and knew exactly what to say. Wonyoung, on the other hand, always felt like she could mess everything up in a matter seconds. She herself had no idea of what she was doing most of the time. And when it came to expressing her feelings, she would overthink it until she suddenly blurted everything out without meaning to.</p><p>She was moved by Chaewon's words; a silent, lonely tear left her eye, but the older girl was there to remove it with her finger.</p><p>She was going to miss that.</p><p>
  <em>She was going to miss her.</em>
</p><p>"I don't want you to leave." Wonyoung hadn't meant to say it out loud. Chaewon wasn't supposed to know that.</p><p>She hadn't even had the time to think it through that the words had already left her lips. Like an instinct she could not control, her true feelings revealed themselves after Wonyoung had done everything to keep them hidden.</p><p>She sounded so desperate that she was now afraid of what Chaewon would think of her.</p><p>She felt so selfish knowing how happy the girl was to finally leave to go and chase after her dreams. She didn't want Chaewon to feel bad because she felt like she was being left behind.</p><p>She didn't want Chaewon to know that she felt that way.</p><p>She held her breath as she waited for Chaewon's reaction. She tried to read her face, but she wasn't looking at her anymore.</p><p>She had lowered her head, clearly avoiding to look her in the face. Wonyoung knew she had messed up and she couldn't help but feel like her whole world was about to end.</p><p>She had been able to make things awkward between them just as Chaewon was about to leave. Who knows when Wonyoung would be able to see her again.</p><p>She was about to speak again, one last attempt at trying to make things better, even though she knew nothing could. However, Yujin interrupted her as she came in between the two, cheering and dancing.</p><p>Apparently, their favourite song was playing and she declared — demanded — that the both of them must hit the dance floor.</p><p>Wonyoung wanted to decline the offer, although she was scared Yujin wouldn't let her. Still, before she could even try, Chaewon said they should all go.</p><p>Wonyoung felt the oh-so-called butterflies fly around in her stomach when the older girl finally turned to look at her, smiling sweetly.</p><p>Did it mean that things were still fine between them?</p><p>Wonyoung suddenly found herself dancing surrounded by her best friends on the notes of their favourite songs.</p><p>She was trying her best to have fun, but a thought in the back of her mind was keeping her from enjoying the moment wholly.</p><p>This would be the last time they'd all be able to party with Chaewon like that. Once she left to New York, when would they see each other again?</p><p>Her eyes found her automatically. She was grinning so brightly, looking so carefree and happy as she kept jumping to the rhythm.</p><p>Wonyoung had never seen her like that.</p><p>She wondered if that was going to be the first and last time she'd see Chaewon being so <em>free.</em> She also hoped, seeing her eyes twinkling when she laughed at something Minjoo said, that she would feel like that in New York too.</p><p>Perhaps, the Eunbi girl would be luckier than her and see Chaewon like that more than once. Maybe, she would see her feeling so free everyday.</p><p>Wonyoung found herself envying a girl she had never even met. How foolish of her.</p><p>Another tear flowed down her cheek, but this time Chaewon wasn't there to wipe it away. She didn't even look her way.</p><p>She kept dancing blissfully with Sakura, while Wonyoung only stared at her. She felt like she was slowly losing her.</p><p>Perhaps, she already had.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—</p>
</div>When the party was over and everyone left, Chaewon and Minjoo decided to stay behind to help tidy up the place.<p>Wonyoung didn't want to go back to their dorm by herself, but she also knew she was in no condition to face Chaewon. So, she left with Yujin and kissed Minjoo goodbye on the cheek.</p><p>She told Chaewon she would see her at the dorm. When her roommate got closer to retrieve her own goodbye kiss, Wonyoung was already making her way outside the place, Yujin following behind with a worried expression.</p><p>"Why did you just run away like that?" Yujin asked her, almost out of breath once she finally caught up to her. Wonyoung hadn't even realised she was fast-walking until she heard her rushed breathing.</p><p>She looked at her with an impassive expression, doing her best at hiding her real emotions.</p><p>"I'm tired, that's all." She said as she shrugged her shoulders. Yujin insisted, but Wonyoung just kept quiet and ignored her.</p><p>They walked back to their dorms in silence.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>— </p>
</div>As soon as she was back in the small dorm she shared with Chaewon, Wonyoung had a hot shower and then got into bed.<p>She was aware that if she were to be awake when Chaewon would came back, she might ask her about their previous conversation or Wonyoung's unusual behaviour at the party.</p><p>Wonyoung didn't want to mess up their friendship even more. She wondered how long she could endure this situation; sometimes, she felt like she was about to explode with all the things she had never said, all the feelings she had kept inside.</p><p>She came back to her dorm that night feeling miserable, and she knew that if Chaewon were to look at her even for a mere second, she would break down in tears and spill everything.</p><p>Hence, why she faked being asleep when she heard the door open a hour after. There was no way Wonyoung was getting any sleep that night.</p><p>Chaewon didn't turn on the light. Instead, she just used her phone's flashlight, careful not to point it towards Wonyoung's bed.</p><p>She tip-toed to the bathroom, took a quick shower and prepared for bed, trying to make as less noise as possible.</p><p>If Wonyoung wasn't trying to look asleep, she would probably be smiling because of her caring behaviour. Then, she'd start crying, knowing that Chaewon would be packing her things the next day.</p><p>Were the other girls having a hard time letting her go as well? Or was she the only selfish one that would rather have Chaewon staying for her own happiness, even if it meant she would have to let go of her dreams, instead of seeing her leave?</p><p>She heard her close the door to the bathroom. She waited patiently for Chaewon to get into bed, but she didn't. On the contrary, Chaewon sat at the end of Wonyoung's bed.</p><p>She didn't say anything for awhile. Wonyoung was now holding her breath, a thousand thoughts swarming in her mind.</p><p>She couldn't understand what was happening. She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so nervous. As Chaewon kept silent, Wonyoung was going crazy.</p><p>When Chaewon finally spoke, Wonyoung was sure she had actually gone mad.</p><p>"I don't want to leave you either."</p><p>The words were spoken in a mere whisper, but resonated loudly in Wonyoung's mind.</p><p>Did she hear that right?</p><p>
  <em>Chaewon didn't want to leave her.</em>
</p><p>Wonyoung didn't think she'd ever hear those words. She didn't think she'd ever feel like this. Going from being miserable to feeling hopeful. So hopeful. The sinking feeling was now gone, replaced by a joyous spectacle of dancing butterflies.</p><p>She didn't know how she was able to stay put. She felt her heart race inside her chest, beating frantically. Her eyes got watery, at any moment she could start shedding tears. Would she be able to stop? Wonyoung didn't think so.</p><p>There were so many tears she had held back for far too long. Even then, she was still suppressing them.</p><p>She needed to think, to do something, anything. She would give into her feelings later, possibly after talking to Chaewon.</p><p>When she heard Chaewon sigh and stand up from her bed, Wonyoung knew she had to do something, quickly.</p><p>She couldn't act like she had heard nothing. Like her words hadn't changed everything. So, Wonyoung sat up in her bed and, feeling a sudden wave of courage wash over her, she finally spoke.</p><p>"Did you really mean that?" Her voice was shaky, her whole body trembling. She didn't know what was going to happen. How would the night end for her? She didn't have time to think about an answer as Chaewon was still standing up in between her bed and hers.</p><p>Chaewon stood motionless, not saying a word. The lack of reaction when Wonyoung suddenly spoke told the younger girl that she had probably suspected that Wonyoung had been awake all along.</p><p>The room was still immersed in the darkness and neither of the two could make out the other's features.</p><p>Wonyoung was holding her breath, fumbling with her hands nervously.</p><p>Perhaps, it wasn't too late for her.</p><p>Perhaps, she hadn't lost her yet.</p><p>She was waiting patiently for Chaewon to say something, anything.</p><p>
  <em>Everything.</em>
</p><p>However, Chaewon only sighed before finally moving, turning around and getting into her bed.</p><p>"You should go to bed." Her words were kind of rushed. She kept moving between her sheets. Wonyoung knew her too well to be fooled like that. She could tell that there was something she wasn't saying. Something she was keeping for herself. "You have to study tomorrow, don't you?"</p><p>Wonyoung shook her head. Had it been any other day, she would've let Chaewon change the subject and get away with it. Not that night, however.</p><p>There was too much on the line, and Wonyoung knew that she was not getting a second chance. It was now or never.</p><p>"I can't." She whispered in a broken voice, her words sounding rather desperate. Chaewon stopped moving, taking in a deep breath. Wonyoung didn't know what came over her when she suddenly felt tears slowly wetting her cheeks one by one down to her pyjamas.</p><p>"Why can't you?" Chaewon was picking her words carefully as usual. Wonyoung wondered how she could always be so calm. She, on the other hand, felt a whole hurricane inside her chest, headed for her heart. She was pretty sure her mind had stopped working temporarily, the thoughts scrapping at the walls and giving her a tremendous headache.</p><p>Still, there was no way she was giving up now.</p><p>"I don't want you to leave." She repeated those same words she had told her at the party some hours before. Her mind was frozen and the words came out on their own, she herself didn't know what she was expecting Chaewon to say.</p><p>She hadn't gotten to see her reaction when she told her the first time, so she didn't know what the older girl was going to say now. It only made her more nervous.</p><p>"I know." Chaewon murmured, her voice was slowly becoming weaker. Wonyoung guessed sleep was gradually taking over her. "You already told me that."</p><p>Then, she yawned. Wonyoung heard her set her alarm before lying on her bed again. "Let's sleep now." Her words were muffled, probably because Chaewon had an habit of covering half of her face with her bedsheets. The younger of the two never understood why she did that, but still found it cute in some way.</p><p>Wonyoung knew there was no way she could fall asleep. Not after their conversation. For the first time ever since she started developing feelings for the older girl, she felt like she was close to finding out how Chaewon really felt.</p><p>One step closer to finding out what they really were. All those dreams she had about the two of them being together would either turn into reality or stay as mere fantasies.</p><p>Coming to the realisation that she was about to risk her whole friendship with Chaewon, Wonyoung spoke hurriedly, as if she was fighting against time. She did feel like there was no time left.</p><p>"There's something else I need to tell you."</p><p>A beat of silence. Chaewon didn't say anything, Wonyoung found herself picking at her nails.</p><p>She was scared; she had all the reasons to be. Her whole relationship with Chaewon — whether it was a friendship or something more — was now on the line. Yet, Wonyoung couldn't stop herself from prying for more. She needed more.</p><p>She was willing to risk everything if it meant she could finally know the truth. What did Chaewon feel?</p><p>She didn't think she'd ever be so courageous to do this, but now that she was, there was no turning back.</p><p>She heard a small voice coming from the bed beside hers. It was weak, almost inaudible. Was Chaewon scared too?</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>Wonyoung took a deep breath. She had dreaded confessing to Chaewon for so long. All the feelings she had kept inside for one year and a half were about to be in the open. They would finally see the light. Wonyoung had never thought it was going to happen. She had spent so much time burying them so in deep in order to forget about them too. It had never worked, but at least Chaewon had never noticed.</p><p>She wasn't sure what would happen next, how things would go between them. However, she knew well that she could not run away from her feelings. Not anymore.</p><p>
  <em>She couldn't run away from Chaewon.</em>
</p><p>It was now or never, her last chance. Part of her was hopeful. Chaewon didn't want to leave her so it must have meant that she cared about her. The problem was figuring out how much and in what way she did.</p><p>She bit her lower lip when she realised that she was about to find out. Was she ready? Could she bear it?</p><p>Whether she could or not did not matter anymore. For once, Wonyoung was going to be honest about how she truly felt.</p><p>She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then wiped the remaining tears on her cheeks. Her skin was itchy, she scratched at it with her nails. Focus — she needed to focus.</p><p>When she opened her eyes again, she couldn't see Chaewon but she could hear her breathing clearly. She opened her mouth, heartbeat increasing. She could do this. She had to.</p><p>When she spoke, her words didn't hold any fear. She was ready to face everything that was going to come at her.</p><p>"I'm in love with you."</p><p>Or, so she thought.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—</p>
</div>hen Wonyoung looked at the window, she saw small rays of sunshine coming in. The darkness was slowly fading away, the sun arising began to light up the inside of the apartment.<p>She looked at her right, her eyes lingering on the undone bed.</p><p>There was no sign of Chaewon.</p><p>The thoughts from merely a few hours before were blurry. Her mind packed with memories she tried to keep away, squeezed at the very far back of her mind so that she could act like they didn't exist.The dreams she had desperately hoped would finally turn into reality were now nightmares hunting her down.</p><p>She remembered feeling her heart become lighter and lighter as she confessed the truth. Freedom as she was aware she didn't have any secrets left. Everything was out in the open, she didn't have to keep anything inside anymore. All the doubts and the fears combined inside her mind were finally gone. It was peaceful.</p><p>It didn't last for long, though.</p><p>When she realised she didn't get an answer back, she got stuck in her head again.</p><p>Why wasn't Chaewon saying anything? What did her silence mean?</p><p>Hadn't it been for the fact that she didn't hear her leave, Wonyoung would have thought that she wasn't there anymore. Perhaps, she had never been there.</p><p>What if she had been so desperate that she had made up the whole thing in her head? Was it all a dream? Why wasn't she getting her happy ending then?</p><p>She knew it wasn't a dream when Chaewon suddenly stood up from her bed. She held her breath, a thousand thoughts running through her head. Would she approach her? What would she say now that she knew about Wonyoung's feelings?</p><p>Chaewon stood still for awhile, Wonyoung felt like there was still hope. She was there, standing in front of her bed. All Wonyoung needed was to hear her speak, say what was on her mind. She didn't know what she was expecting her to say — she simply needed to know the truth about the other girl's feelings.</p><p>Nevertheless, Chaewon didn't even try to speak, she didn't say a thing. One moment she was standing next to her bed, the other she was gone.</p><p>She ran straight to the door and left without a word.</p><p>
  <em>She ran away from Wonyoung.</em>
</p><p>Wonyoung spent the rest of the night awake, tears streaming down her face until there were none left. Strengthless, she stayed unmoving in her bed as she replayed in her mind everything that had happened.</p><p>As the morning came and she could finally make out the inside of her dorm, Wonyoung found herself staring at the closed door separating her from the outside world. Chaewon as well.</p><p>She had waited for the older girl to say something, but she didn't. Yet her actions spoke louder than any words she could have uttered.</p><p>She didn't love her back — that was the answer. The one Wonyoung had been awaiting, the one Chaewon didn't have the courage to say out loud.</p><p>Wonyoung wasn't sure when the anger replaced her sadness. Perhaps, it had been when she ran out of tears to spare. Or, when she realised Chaewon didn't even think she was worthy of an answer.</p><p>Maybe it was her coping mechanism, the only way she could accept the fact that Chaewon didn't love her back.</p><p>But Wonyoung would've have understood if she didn't. She would've have accepted it. She knew the risks she was running when she fell for her best friend. She was aware that she could get her heartbroken. She had accepted that possibility a long time ago.</p><p>So why couldn't Chaewon tell her? Why did she have to leave Wonyoung alone? To run away without saying anything?</p><p>She felt pathetic. She felt sick.</p><p>After hours spent inside her bed, she finally stood up to reach the bathroom. Crouching down on the toilet, she let go of everything she was feeling. She poured it all out along with her own heart. At least, that's how it felt.</p><p>Wonyoung wished she could actually rip her heart off, take it out of her chest and dump it along with her feelings for Chaewon and the thoughts wrestling inside her head.</p><p>She sat there for awhile, not sure whether she'd ever find the strength to get up. When she eventually did, she couldn't even look at herself in the mirror.</p><p>Her eyes went to the shower and she didn't waste anytime getting in. Wearing her pyjamas, she let the cold water run down her body.</p><p>She didn't know what she was thinking. In the films it always worked, so what if it helped her too? As the water hit her skin through the wet fabric of the pyjamas she had bought at the start of the year with Chaewon, Wonyoung only felt more and more pathetic.</p><p>She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall. Perhaps, she was supposed to feel like this. After all, she was pathetic for ever thinking she had a chance with Chaewon in the first place.</p><p>She deserved feeling like this. Standing in the shower, water running with her clothes still on. If she could, she would've have laughed at herself. However, she didn't have the strength to.</p><p>She didn't know how much time she stood there. Did it even matter? She didn't care at that point. Even as she started feeling goosebumps all over her body and her teeth started to shake, she didn't stop.</p><p>
  <em>She had lost Chaewon.</em>
</p><p>Wonyoung laughed bitterly, shaking her head.</p><p>She hadn't lost Chaewon; she couldn't lose her because she had never been hers in the first place.</p><p>Chaewon was going to leave and the two of them would never see each other again. Even though Chaewon had always told her that they would keep in touch, Wonyoung wasn't sure she would still reach out to her after everything that went down. In a way, she was sure that it would hurt less if she didn't.</p><p>After she had opened her heart to Chaewon, she turned around and left her alone.</p><p>Wonyoung didn't know if she was angrier at Chaewon for leaving like that or at herself for ever thinking that confessing was a good idea. For thinking that after doing so everything would remain the same between them.</p><p>It was foolish of her. So foolish that it had made her lose her best friend and first love.</p><p>Would she even be able to fall in love again now that her heart was broken? Would she even be able to look at someone and not think of Chaewon? Would she ever stop feeling like this?</p><p>She was still lost in her thoughts when the water suddenly stopped. Her features turned into a deep frown.</p><p>She turned around and saw a hand offering her a towel. She followed it to its owner and felt a pang in her heart when she was met with a red-eyed Chaewon.</p><p>"You're going to be sick." She told her in her ever so delicate tone, but Wonyoung felt like there was a barrier between them and everything that came out of her mouth sounded muffled to her ears.</p><p>"I've been feeling sick all night anyway." The words came out on their own, harsher than ever. It didn't even sound like her, but Wonyoung was angry.</p><p>She was disappointed in Chaewon for leaving when she needed her the most. Now, she came back acting like nothing had changed. Caring for her like they were still good.</p><p>Were they? Wonyoung wasn't sure.</p><p>Chaewon didn't say anything else. She simply stood there, almost begging Wonyoung with her eyes to take the towel.</p><p>Wonyoung gave in, but as soon as the towel was between her hands, she turned her back to the girl. Looking at her had never hurt so much.</p><p>She put the towel around her shoulder and then made her way for the bedroom, avoiding Chaewon and the eyes now following her every move.</p><p>Her body felt heavy every step she took, but she still kept dragging her feet until she was sitting on her bed. Only then, she took the time to look at Chaewon again. She had tailed behind her like a stray dog, looking so hopeless.</p><p>"Don't you have to pack your things?" She asked her firmly. Her voice stronger, angrier every word she uttered.</p><p>Chaewon was taken aback by this new side of her and Wonyoung felt good about it.</p><p>"I should." She whispered as she lowered her head. Following her gaze, Wonyoung noticed that she had taken another towel before leaving the bathroom and was holding it between her hands.</p><p>She glanced at Wonyoung with unsure eyes before she got extremely close to her. The younger girl didn't have the time to speak as Chaewon wrapped her hair in the towel and started massaging it in a comforting way.</p><p>Wonyoung was frozen in place. When was the last time she had been so close to her? It was a stupid question — Wonyoung knew. They had spent the night before together, they hugged and took pictures at the party. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours.</p><p>Yet those hours after Chaewon left felt like an entire lifetime. Her mind had already forgotten how warm Chaewon's body was. She could feel it as she was standing so closely to her. She felt the urge the close the mere distance separating their bodies so that she could let her warmth heat her up. She felt so cold, so lonely.</p><p>She was about to give in when Chaewon stepped away. Wonyoung looked at her, but the older girl avoided her eyes.</p><p>She shook her head bitterly; she was only being pathetic. Even if she needed Chaewon's warmth, it was clear that the older girl didn't need hers. She couldn't even look her in the eyes anymore.</p><p>"Why aren't you doing it?" Wonyoung's voice stopped showing any emotion altogether. She wished it would actually match what she was feeling inside, but it did not. Her heart was broken in a thousand pieces she had no intention to gather and fix.</p><p>Chaewon kept looking at the ground, the wet towel in her hands. She sighed before speaking again.</p><p>"Because I don't want to leave you."</p><p>It was quiet for awhile, but then the silence was broken by Wonyoung's bitter laughter. Chaewon finally looked up, confusion written all over her face.</p><p>She was about to say something, but Wonyoung interrupted her.</p><p>"Funny how you said that last night as well, but still left." The words were full of venom, meant to make Chaewon feel even the slightest bit of suffering  Wonyoung had been going through ever since she walked out of that door without saying a word.</p><p>However, this time her tone of voice gave away something she had tried to hide during their confrontation.</p><p>The unbearable heartache, the reality of her being abandoned by the one person she thought would always be by her side.</p><p>"But I came back." Chaewon declared, her eyes imploring Wonyoung to forgive her. She felt like guilt was eating her alive wholly. Chewing slowly and savouring every mouthful of it, not leaving an inch of her free from its torture.</p><p>For the first time since they had met, Chaewon's words were rushed and impulsive. She couldn't think, she had no time to calculate what to say and how to say it. There was a clear hint of panic in her eyes which could be heard in her voice as well.</p><p>Wonyoung was too angry to notice any of that.</p><p>"I came back for you." She added frantically, her voice wavering when Wonyoung looked at her with disdain. It was unusual and the thought that it might become permanent made Chaewon's stomach twist.</p><p>The younger's snickering broke her heart, the words she uttered right after felt like a stab in her already wounded heart.</p><p>"What do you expect me to reply to that?" Wonyoung had never been so mad at her. Her every word held a sharpness which sliced her soul into thin strands of hopelessness. Could she ever be able to make things right again?</p><p>"Thanks for coming back? Very considerate of you, Chaewon." She spat the words out with contempt, Chaewon couldn't blame her for being so angry. She deserved it.</p><p>She wished Wonyoung would understand, though. She hadn't meant to, she would never hurt her on purpose. There was a fight between her heart and her mind and Chaewon wasn't sure she could ever put an end to it.</p><p>At times, it felt useless to even try. Sometimes, it felt safer to run away from it.</p><p>She was having a hard time talking to Wonyoung; it was the first time the two of them had trouble communicating. Most times, they didn't even need to talk, a simple look and they would already know what the other was trying to say.</p><p>Now, everything was different. Wonyoung masked her pain with anger, Chaewon was trying to mend things but was not opening up about her real feelings, the reason why she had acted the way she did.</p><p>Moreover, Wonyoung had never been so distant with Chaewon. The older of the two knew it was entirely her fault.</p><p>"You don't understand, Wonyoung." She tried to elaborate more but was interrupted by Wonyoung who scoffed, before shaking her head.</p><p>"You're right, I don't." She stated. Although her tone of voice was neutral, her eyes were quite the opposite. Full of anger. Chaewon herself was starting to feel rather small under her glare. "Then, make me understand."</p><p>"I have a great future ahead of me." Chaewon spoke in a desperate tone, her words almost automatic as if she had learned them by heart. Perhaps, she had prepared for this moment unconsciously, had been finding an excuse to justify her actions for when she would have to face her true feelings. "I have the opportunity to go to New York and turn my plans into reality."</p><p>She sighed exhaustedly, the fight between her mind and her heart was consuming every piece of her.</p><p>"But I can't bring myself to do that." She added in a whisper, surprising her own self. Could it be that her heart had finally prevailed?</p><p>Wonyoung didn't seem fazed by her words. Chaewon would've thought she hadn't been listening to a word she had uttered had it not been for the way she was clenching her fist harsher and harsher as the words left her mouth.</p><p>It was evident that she didn't believe a word she had said. Chaewon wasn't sure what to do knowing that.</p><p>"No one's stopping you Chaewon." She claimed shrugging her shoulders. There was a quick flash in her eyes before she let go of her fist and got up. Chaewon's eyes followed her as the younger reached her wardrobe and started looking for clothes to change into. "Just pack your things and go. Isn't this what you've always wanted?"</p><p>Chaewon did not move. Not after she heard how sorely disappointed her words sounded. How could she? She remained stuck in place as she stared at Wonyoun's back while the girl was too busy picking what to wear.</p><p>Normally, she would help her choose the one that looked best on her. To be truthful, everything looked amazing on Wonyoung. However, Chaewon doubted Wonyoung would ever come to her for advice again.</p><p>The worst part of it all was that Chaewon understood completely the way Wonyoung was feeling, and she couldn't help but despise herself as well.</p><p>If only she could, she'd scream at herself for acting the way she had the night before, especially for leaving Wonyoung without an explanation.</p><p>Nevertheless, she couldn't imagine herself doing anything else other than that.</p><p>Wonyoung had just confessed to her, she remembered feeling like she was frozen. As if she had lost the ability to move and talk.</p><p>The crystal ball she had built on her own and trapped herself in had just broken. It wasn't supposed to happen like that; it wasn't supposed to happen at all.</p><p>It was a secret she had planned on keeping so for a long time. Until it ceased existing and she'd be freed from it. However, it had never gone away.</p><p>On the contrary, it kept growing inside her chest, consuming every ounce of her mind. In no time it had become the center of her thoughts, the reason behind her every action.</p><p>Still, Chaewon tried so hard to convince herself that it was not there. As long as she believed it, the secret would be safe. She had never thought someone else would break the crystal ball containing all of it. Never thought that it would be Wonyoung out of all people, saying she was in love with her.</p><p>It was like waking up in an unfamiliar place she knew nothing about. Yet she felt like she had already been there. She felt like she knew those feelings, the urge in her voice and the longing all too well. She was sure she had dreamed of it before but could not process that dream.</p><p>She felt lost and couldn't think of anything. The only thing she was able to do was run away in hopes that she'd regain her memory along the way.</p><p>As the night came to an end, Chaewon found herself being overwhelmed by the truth. Feelings she had buried in the darkest depths of her heart had resurfaced and expanded through her whole being. </p><p>She had expected it to be harder to absorb, but it was not. Perhaps, Chaewon had always known exactly how she felt and kept denying her own feelings because of her cowardice.</p><p>Then, as the coward she was, she had thought that she was still in time to rebuild the crystal ball. If she had done it once, she could do it twice. However, seeing and talking to Wonyoung proved her wrong.</p><p>It couldn't be fixed, she could not keep running away. This time, Chaewon had to face the truth. She was surprised to realise that she didn't mind. Why would she ever run away from such a sweet truth?</p><p>She needed to talk to Wonyoung and tell her everything she had kept inside for so long. She wanted them to reach a decision together.</p><p>However, Wonyoung couldn't even look her in the eyes anymore, and Chaewon did not blame her.</p><p>She couldn't even imagine how the younger girl must have felt when she realised she had left and that she was on her own.</p><p>During the party, but even before, Chaewon had noticed how nervous and sad Wonyoung looked.</p><p>She needed Chaewon and she wasn't there for her.</p><p>She felt angry at herself because of that.</p><p>She felt angry at herself because while Wonyoung had had the courage to open her heart to her, Chaewon still couldn't bring herself to do the same.</p><p>She was still scared.</p><p>"You should leave." Wonyoung said after awhile. Chaewon immediately noticed that her voice didn't sound harsh anymore. However, it had become emotionless. "I need to change."</p><p>"I can turn around if you want." Chaewon tried to do as she had said, but she was interrupted by Wonyoung.</p><p>"No." The younger girl shook her head, her voice firm. A frown made its way on Chaewon's features, and when Wonyoung spoke again, the older girl felt like the air had just been punched out of her lungs. "I want you to leave right now and never come back."</p><p>Chaewon was left speechless by Wonyoung's frankness. That's all she could hear in her voice at that moment. No anger, no disappointment. Only honesty.</p><p>The memory of the night before felt like a pang in her heart. She remembered how Wonyoung had told her she didn't want her to leave, twice.</p><p>Both times her voice had sounded so vulnerable that Chaewon had felt the need to hug her close to her chest and tell her she was never going to leave her.</p><p>She wished she had followed her truest instincts and done it. She wished she could have stayed true to her feelings.</p><p>If she was even half as brave as Wonyoung was, she would have promised her that she'd stay by her side as long as she needed.</p><p>Nevertheless, she knew better than to lie to her like that.</p><p>Chaewon couldn't promise her anything. She had no idea what she really wanted and what she was going to do.</p><p>She had decided a long time before that she'd leave Seoul to go to New York. However, it was too complicated now.</p><p>She had convinced herself that she did not have a choice, but Wonyoung's confession had changed everything.</p><p>And now that she was asking her to leave, Chaewon was only getting more and more confused.</p><p>When she heard Wonyoung say that she needed to leave for the second time, Chaewon started gathering her things.</p><p>She had had the chance to follow her heart and she had wasted it. She had given it up because of her own cowardice. Now, it was only fair that she complied to Wonyoung's request. If she wanted her to leave, she had to.</p><p>She had to put Wonyoung's needs first. Even if it meant that she'd have to silence her heart once again. Perhaps, that was her punishment.</p><p>As she was packing her things in the silence of the room, Chaewon suddenly came upon a picture she had kept in one of the drawers of her bedside table — one she treasured a lot.</p><p>It was a polaroid of Wonyoung smiling lovingly at the camera. Chaewon had been the one who had taken it.</p><p>The surroundings told her that it was taken at Wonyoung's house. Actually, she didn't need a reminder; she remembered that night vividly.</p><p>She had taken the polaroid the year before, on the day of Wonyoung's birthday. The younger girl had gone back home to celebrate with her parents. Nonetheless, Yujin and Chaewon surprised her that same night and joined the celebration.</p><p>After taking the picture, they jokingly fought because Chaewon wanted to keep it. Wonyoung had blushed at the revelation, but still asked her to let her have it. The older girl almost gave in when she pouted and asked her once again to give it to her. Chaewon had promised her she would do it once they were back at the dorms, but ended up not keeping her promise.</p><p>There was something about the way Wonyoung was smiling in the picture as she looked to the camera that made Chaewon unable to part from it. She felt greedy for wanting to keep it for herself, but couldn't do otherwise.</p><p>Deep down, she knew the reasoning behind her actions even though she didn't want to face it. She liked to think that Wonyoung was offering that smile full of love to her. As if there had been no camera in between them, and Wonyoung was simply looking at her.</p><p>All the times she had looked at the polaroid and those thoughts had invaded her head, she had felt foolish. She would scold herself for thinking such things, go back to act like her feelings did not exist.</p><p>Her heart constricted in her chest at the thought that perhaps she was not being delusional. Now that she was aware of Wonyoung's feelings, there was the possibility that the girl was, in fact, looking at her with love.</p><p>Would it be wrong if she convinced herself that it was the truth?</p><p>Chaewon weakly shook her head as she kept staring at the polaroid in between her hands. She had stopped packing her things. She couldn't help but think that she was never going to see Wonyoung smile at her like that. The realisation hit her hard, and it hurt like hell.</p><p>Chaewon was never going to be the reason behind the faint blush on Wonyoung's cheeks, the sparkle in her eyes, the happiness displaying from her smile again.</p><p>Thinking back to the way Wonyoung had looked and talked to her, she doubted she would ever be anything but a burden to the younger girl.</p><p>That reminded Chaewon that she had to leave, and she needed to do it fast. She convinced herself it was because Wonyoung had asked her to. However, she knew that was another lie. Partly, at least.</p><p>Chaewon felt like she was going to explode with everything she was feeling. All she needed was to cry, to let everything out. She couldn't do it in front of Wonyoung. It was clear that she was done with her, and Chaewon was in no position to ask for her comfort.</p><p>She was so caught up in her thoughts that she did not hear Wonyoung approaching her. Only when the polaroid was suddenly snatched out of her hands did Chaewon realise the younger girl was standing beside her.</p><p>She widened her eyes, before turning to look at Wonyoung cautiously. She didn't make any noise, fearing it would make the younger girl angry. She tried to read her expression, but there was too much going on inside her head. It was hard to tell what she herself was feeling.</p><p>She did grasp a glint in Wonyoung's eyes, but part of her believed she had made it up. That would explain why Wonyoung looked mad when she looked her dead in the eyes a few seconds later.</p><p>"Why do you have this?" She asked her, and Chaewon would be lying if she said she did not feel threatened at all. Suddenly, Chaewon felt guilty for never giving the polaroid back.</p><p>She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She closed her eyes, hands shaking. She could only mutter an apology, hoping it would be enough.</p><p>It wasn't.</p><p>"I'm taking this back." Wonyoung declared as she turned around to leave her side once again. Chaewon hurriedly grabbed her arm to stop her, only to regret the action a few seconds later.</p><p>She let it go as soon as she met Wonyoung's furious eyes. She looked at the ground, biting into her bottom lip.</p><p>"What?" Wonyoung asked her. When Chaewon looked up, her roommate was glaring at her. She gulped down, before speaking again. She knew it was foolish of her, but she couldn't help the words that left her mouth.</p><p>"Can I keep it?" Her voice was small, so low she doubted Wonyoung even heard her. When the younger girl scoffed and went back to her previous position next to her wardrobe, Chaewon did not try to stop her again. She had seen it coming anyway.</p><p>Wonyoung tossed the polaroid inside one of the drawers and closed it without looking at it a second time. Chaewon looked at her as she moved in front of the mirror.</p><p>From where she was she could see her reflection clearly. The ghost of a smile appeared on Chaewon's lips. Wonyoung was wearing her favourite sweater, the one Chaewon had always thought looked beautiful on her. She had never told her, only teased her for wearing it too much. Truthfully, she loved seeing Wonyoung wear it.</p><p>She stared longer than she was supposed to, but she didn't care. There was a voice in the back of her mind telling her to look at her carefully because it was going to be the last time she'd see her wearing it.</p><p>Chaewon wanted nothing but to silence it. However, she didn't. She had spent so much time lying to herself, now it would be no good for her if she kept running away from the truth.</p><p>Her relationship with Wonyoung was ruined. This was probably going to be the last time the two would be in the same room. She felt a grip inside her chest at the thought that there were so many things she had never told her and wanted to. She doubted Wonyoung would want to hear them now.</p><p>She knew she was going to regret not telling her, but what right did she have? She should've done it the night before if she really cared. She could only accept it and let Wonyoung move on. She knew she was strong enough to handle it. Chaewon had never thought that she was worthy of being with her anyway.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Wonyoung's voice brought her back to reality. Nevertheless, Chaewon wasn't sure she wanted to face this reality yet. "Why did you stop packing?" Her voice sounded rather confused, weaker than before.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Chaewon mumbled before going back to gathering her things. Her hands were back to shaking and before she noticed some of her belongings fell to the ground. She sent a quick glance towards Wonyoung and apologised again before crouching to the floor.</p><p>She was so nervous that they kept slipping out of her hands. Chaewon had never felt so frustrated. She sighed, reaching out for her earphones again when her fingers suddenly met Wonyoung's. She looked up, a deep blush covering her cheeks. She quickly retreated hers and was about to apologise when Wonyoung interrupted her.</p><p>"Don't apologise." She stated, looking away from her. She handed her the earphones and got back on her feet. Chaewon mirrored her, momentarily forgetting all the other things she had yet to pick up from the floor.</p><p>Wonyoung glanced at her, before looking to the ground. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her lips pressed together. She looked unsure and Chaewon couldn't help but feel like she was at fault.</p><p>"Are you okay?" The words were spoken in a mere whisper, but as soon as they reached Chaewon's ears, the girl's features were taken over by sudden surprise.</p><p>She hesitated before looking at her. When their eyes met, Chaewon believed she saw worry in Wonyoung's. She looked away as soon as the thought crossed her mind.</p><p>"I'm fine." She answered, but her voice betrayed her. Wonyoung raised an eyebrow, her eyes staying on her roommate's figure. Chaewon kept silent, unable to say anything else.</p><p>She heard Wonyoung sigh heavily, before walking away. Perhaps, she had been more convincing than she thought.</p><p>The younger's footsteps stopped in the middle of the room. Chaewon was staring at her back when Wonyoung suddenly turned around to look at her.</p><p>"I'm the one whose heart has been broken." Wonyoung said, her voice full of sorrow. The memory of the night before came back haunting Chaewon once again. "So why do you look so vulnerable right now?"</p><p>Chaewon's eyes widened, her lips parted slightly. Wonyoung stared as the older girl looked at herself in the mirror. She followed her gaze, her eyes setting on her reflection.</p><p>Chaewon kept quiet, her head hanging low. Wonyoung knew there was something she wanted to say. She kept scratching at her wrist, her eyes were distant. She wondered what was really going on inside her head.</p><p>Part of her told her she shouldn't care. Chaewon had broken her heart and Wonyoung hated her. But how could she? Chaewon was standing there, looking so small and vulnerable.</p><p>Her eyes were dull, her face pale. Wonyoung couldn't recognise her. She had wanted for Chaewon to feel bad for leaving her, but perhaps she had took it too far. She had never meant for her to hurt like that.</p><p>She was in love with her, and she couldn't help but care. That wasn't going to change overnight. No matter how mad she was at her.</p><p>"I'm sorry for leaving last night." Those were the only words that left Chaewon's lips. Wonyoung could tell she really meant them.</p><p>Part of her was relieved to finally hear it come out of her. She noticed that her anger was slowly dissipating, making way for a deep melancholy.</p><p>"I just wish you would've rejected me, instead of running away." Wonyoung confessed, looking away from Chaewon.</p><p>The latter smiled bitterly. If she were to imagine what she would've done instead of leaving, many scenarios came up but none of them involved Chaewon rejecting the younger.</p><p>Chaewon knew it very well, that's why she had run away. In no way, could she have rejected her verbally. The only way she had to run from her feelings and Wonyoung's was by avoiding answering her and leave.</p><p>And that's what she had done. However, she regretted it, deeply.</p><p>Even though Chaewon wasn't looking at her, Wonyoung noticed the bitter expression on her face. She raised an eyebrow and was ready to inquire further when Chaewon suddenly turned her head to look at her. Their eyes met, there was a change in Chaewon's demeanour.</p><p>"I wish I could make up for it." She affirmed with a faint smile which Wonyoung could not decipher. For the first time, her voice didn't hold any hint of uncertainty. She had made up her mind. Chaewon understood there was nothing left to do. "But you deserve better."</p><p>She turned to pick up her things from the floor. Still crouched on the ground, she stopped for a second. Wonyoung stared at her back, unable to tell what had just happened.</p><p>"You always have." She added in a whisper, almost as if Wonyoung was not meant to hear her last words.</p><p>But she did hear them, and now she couldn't make sense of anything.</p><p>"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked her, her back straightening. Her eyes followed Chaewon as the older girl went back to packing her things. She didn't look vulnerable anymore, yet she still looked off.</p><p>"Chaewon," Wonyoung called her name to get her attention. She succeeded. "What does it mean?"</p><p>Chaewon stopped in front of her bed and looked at her. There was a moment — it was so short Wonyoung had almost missed it — where Chaewon seemed to want to say something. In the end, she simply shook her head and said it didn't matter. Not anymore.</p><p>Wonyoung gritted her teeth, fed up with the way Chaewon kept confusing her more and more.</p><p>"It matters to me."</p><p>She saw Chaewon drop her stuff on the bed and nod her head slightly. She turned her whole attention to Wonyoung before speaking again.</p><p>"You deserve someone that can love you fully and proudly. Someone who's mature enough to acknowledge their feelings, instead of being scared of them."</p><p>Wonyoung was taken aback by the seriousness and the determination in her voice. She felt her eyes watering as she thought to herself that she had always wished for Chaewon to be that someone.</p><p>She recomposed herself quickly, though. Looking at Chaewon, she wondered why she was telling her that now. What was the reason behind her words? She bit her lower lip when she couldn't come up with an answer, while Chaewon had already gone back to packing her stuff.</p><p>"I don't understand." She muttered, frowning deeply. She looked up at Chaewon only to find her standing some steps away from her. There was a glint in her eyes when she looked at her. Wonyoung was familiar with it.</p><p>Chaewon would always look at her with such a caring gaze. Wonyoung found out that even after everything that went down between them in the last few hours, she still felt the butterflies in her stomach when she looked at her that way.</p><p>"You deserve the world, Wonyoung." Chaewon was smiling sadly as she spoke. Her words sounded sincere and that only helped messing with Wonyoung's head even more. "I guess I was never fit to fill that place and give it to you."</p><p>Wonyoung's world suddenly stopped moving. She felt as if the ground had just been taken from under her feet. Where did the void in her stomach come from?</p><p>She had thought she had reached her breaking point the night before, but now she wasn't sure of anything.</p><p>Did she hear it right? Was she making things up in her head? She thought over and over about what Chaewon had just said. Every time she reached the same conclusion and it scared her to death.</p><p>The bitterness in Chaewon's voice; what did it mean? The caring gaze she was directing at her; was it that of a friend?</p><p>"Are you saying that—" She stopped mid-sentence, frightened to speak any further. The night before, Wonyoung had felt her heart break. Now, she felt it beat again in her chest, unsteadily. "Tell me the truth, please."</p><p>Chaewon moved closer and reduced the distance between their bodies. She held up her hand next to Wonyoung's face, her fingers brushing against her cheek. Wonyoung closed her eyes, greedy to feel her touch against her skin again. However, she didn't feel anything.</p><p>On the contrary, she heard Chaewon walk away. She acted on her instinct and grabbed her arm abruptly, surprising the older girl.</p><p>Wonyoung needed answers and she wasn't going to let Chaewon get away with it.</p><p>She looked straight her in the eyes, before taking a deep breath. She was scared, but she couldn't pull back. She needed the truth, even if she wouldn't like it.</p><p>"Did you—" Wonyoung stopped again, dropping Chaewon's arm. She looked at her feet, taking in the courage to ask her the question she had never thought she'd have to ask her. "Do you love me?"</p><p>She tried to mask her worry, but it was to no use. Her hands were shaking at her sides. Chaewon noticed before looking at her. Their eyes met once again.</p><p>Wonyoung's were full of fear and confusion. Also, impatient to know the answer.<br/>
Chaewon's were hard to decipher. An apparent calm which hid the turmoil going inside her head.</p><p>However, Chaewon had already found an answer to stop said turmoil. She had made peace with it, even if it was painful.</p><p>"It wouldn't be fair if I told you I do now, would it?" Chaewon smiled sadly.  "Let me leave. You don't deserve this." She moved in order to collect her stuff, but was once again interrupted by Wonyoung.</p><p>When she turned around, she saw that the younger girl was silently crying.</p><p>"I'm in love with you, Chaewon." She spoke in a broken voice, and before Chaewon realised, her eyes were watering as well. It pained her to see Wonyoung like this, knowing it was her fault.  "And if you're in love with me, then why did you go away like that? Why couldn't you tell me?"</p><p>Her words were desperate, she needed to know the truth. Find a way to make sense of this whole situation. It was better to think that Chaewon didn't return her feelings and left in order not to break her heart by telling her so.</p><p>However, it was different now. If Chaewon felt the same, why would she leave? She tried hard to come up with a reason, an answer to her question, but it was all in vain. The only person who could help her understand was standing in front of her.</p><p>Why couldn't Chaewon just tell her she loved her too? Kiss her like they did in the movies? They could've had their happy ending. Why didn't they?</p><p>"I was scared." Chaewon whispered, her voice sounding just as broken as Wonyoung's. Both their hearts were shattered to pieces. In both cases, Chaewon knew she was at fault. "I was confused."</p><p>They were looking into each other's eyes. Both so vulnerable, but Wonyoung's hid a hint of hopefulness. Chaewon wondered if she was going to let her down again.</p><p>"I thought I was ready to leave and start a new life far away from here," Chaewon was finally opening her heart to Wonyoung. Although the younger had wished for it to happen differently — perhaps, not when they were both crying, heartbroken — she was glad to know that she had finally found the courage to. "But all I needed to change my mind was hearing you say that you're in love with me."</p><p>Chaewon hung her head low. She felt she had failed Wonyoung, she wasn't brave enough to look her in the eyes knowing she was the reason behind the tears wetting her cheeks.</p><p>On the other hand, Wonyoung was trying her best to understand Chaewon, she really was. However, she was having a hard time putting her thoughts together. Her mind had stopped working as soon as she realised Chaewon loved her.</p><p>Part of her was relieved; this was what she wanted when she confessed, wasn't it? To know that Chaewon returned her feelings. She had hoped so much for it to be true that now it almost didn't feel real.</p><p>Nevertheless, there was a thought tugging at the back of her head telling her that if Chaewon truly loved her, she wouldn't have left her the night before.</p><p>It was hard to match her heart and her mind. Wonyoung was tired of feeling like this. Almost as if she could read her mind, Chaewon spoke again.</p><p>"I shouldn't have left like that, but I didn't know what to do." She looked honest when she spoke and Wonyoung kept close attention to every word she said. "We had just come back from a party you and the girls organised to congratulate me, but also to say goodbye. Minjoo and I were talking about her visiting me in the fall as she accompanied me back here. I had so many plans; Eunbi was texting me that she had found a flat for the both of us. She's been my best friend since I was eight."</p><p>"When you told me you were in love with me, I knew none of that was going to happen." Chaewon admitted, her hands reaching out for Wonyoung's. The latter intertwined their fingers together. "And even though a part of me was scared to give it all up, I was happy because it meant I could be with you."</p><p>Wonyoung's gaze softened at her words, her lips tugging upwards into a faint smile. So, that was how Chaewon had felt all along. She now understood where she was coming from, her words finally making sense to her.</p><p>She wasn't sure what she would have done had she been in Chaewon's position. Even if she was still hurt by the older's actions, she could comprehend them. It wasn't about justifying and forgiving Chaewon. Now, Wonyoung could finally believe her.</p><p>Perhaps, her heart was indeed preparing to forgive her. Chaewon's next words made the feeling only stronger.</p><p>As Chaewon spoke, her eyes were glistening.</p><p>"Is it crazy if I say that I think I've been in love with you ever since you stepped foot in this room?" Chaewon admitted in a low whisper, staring at their hands locked together. A nostalgic smile plastered on her lips. "Even when you spent the night whining because I told you we weren't going to see freaking Aladdin and get a happy meal from McDonald's."</p><p>Both girls broke out in a fit of laughters at the memory. When Chaewon looked up, Wonyoung was smiling brightly. She still felt kind of ashamed at the embarrassing memory, but she didn't care. Chaewon was looking at her with that loving stare she had longed for so long, that's all that mattered to her at that moment.</p><p>Also, she remembered vividly how the day after, when she came back to the dorm, she had found Chaewon waiting for her in the room. She had set up a streaming of Aladdin on her computer and bought her a happy meal to make up for the night before.</p><p>Wonyoung still couldn't believe that Chaewon remembered about it. It warmed her heart, knowing that she did.</p><p>It was a memory both girls held dear to their hearts. Ever since that day, the two had become inseparable. It was only a matter of time before feelings started to arouse in the both of them.</p><p>Looking back at it, Wonyoung would've never thought that they'd get this far. Especially considering everything that happened in less than the last twenty-four hours.</p><p>As the memories came flooding back in her mind, she smiled unconsciously. She looked at Chaewon, their fingers still intertwined. She wished she could've had the ability of stopping time; she wouldn't have minded staying like that for awhile.</p><p>However, in between the memories, a new worry surged inside her mind. What was going to happen now?</p><p>Wonyoung knew that she did not need to ask Chaewon; her eyes spoke louder than any words she could've uttered at that moment.</p><p>If she were to ask her, Chaewon would answer in a heartbeat that she'd stay. Cancel all her plans to be with her. Part of Wonyoung wanted to ask her so she could hear all that. It was greedy of her, but she couldn't help her feelings.</p><p>She stared more into her eyes and she blushed when she realised how loving her gaze was. Wonyoung's was probably the same; she wondered if it had the same effect on Chaewon.</p><p>Seeing from the way her smile kept growing bigger, she knew it did.</p><p>Wonyoung thought back to what Chaewon had told her.</p><p>She suddenly remembered all the late nights they had spent together at the library. Chaewon would work so hard until she had no strength left. Even as they walked back to their dorm, engulfed in the night, she'd keep revising things from her phone.</p><p>Wonyoung knew why she cared so much about studying. She wanted to help her parents and become financially independent so that they wouldn't have to provide for her anymore. She also wanted to travel a lot and see the world.</p><p>She had always worked hard in order to make all of that into reality. Wonyoung had always thought that she'd never be able to mirror the same amount of effort Chaewon put in her studies.</p><p>She admired her and tried to support her as best as she could, even though there wasn't much she could do apart from making sure Chaewon didn't skip any meals and got the necessary amount of sleep.</p><p>In the end, Chaewon's hard work had finally paid off. Even if Wonyoung had been miserable at the thought of Chaewon leaving her, she was also extremely proud of everything the older girl had achieved.</p><p>If there was anyone who deserved to see their dreams become reality, that was Chaewon.</p><p>Looking deeply into her eyes, squeezing her hands tenderly, Wonyoung thought back to all those afternoons Chaewon had spent at the library studying and revising her notes, all the nights she had spent awake finishing some projects and all the mornings in which she had woken up earlier to get to class sooner than needed.</p><p>Remembering how determined Chaewon was to graduate and get the job she had always dreamt of, Wonyoung didn't have it in herself to tell her that she had to give up it all.</p><p>To give up on those dreams that had kept her going during those years and that could finally become her new reality.</p><p>Wonyoung couldn't take that away from Chaewon. There was no way she was going to forgive herself if she did.</p><p>Holding back her tears, she detached her hands from Chaewon's and looked away. She didn't need to look at her to know that she was probably confused. Wonyoung would be too.</p><p>She took a shaky breath, before moving to finish what Chaewon had been doing all morning. It wasn't what she wanted, but she had to.</p><p>Chaewon looked lost all of a sudden; Wonyoung ignored it as she kept packing the older's stuff.</p><p>She knew sooner or later Chaewon would try to stop her and ask her to explain why she was doing it. Wonyoung sighed when she did grab her arm and moved the boxes away.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Her voice was laced with confusion. However, there was something else in her voice that Wonyoung did detect but decided to ignore so that it would be easier to let Chaewon go.</p><p>"I'm packing your stuff." Wonyoung answered, unable to look her way. She knew that if she looked her in the eyes, she'd probably change her mind again.</p><p>Chaewon's eyebrows furrowed, Wonyoung felt the sudden urge to kiss the lip she was currently biting.</p><p>She came back to reality when she realised it'd be pointless.</p><p>"You can't give up on your dreams because of me, Chaewon." She mumbled. Her voice did not sound as confident as she hoped it to be.</p><p>"Haven't you heard anything I've told you just now?" Chaewon asked her. She reached for Wonyoung's hands, but the latter avoided her. That only increased the hurt in the older's eyes.</p><p>"I did." Wonyoung replied, finally holding up her gaze to look into her eyes. She instantly regretted it, though.</p><p>Chaewon was about to speak again when Wonyoung anticipated her.</p><p>"If you don't leave now, there's a chance you will end up hating yourself for it." Wonyoung tried her best to sound convincing. She really needed Chaewon to believe her words. "Hell, you might end up hating me as well. That's why you've got to leave. So that you won't have any regrets later."</p><p>She knew she succeeded when Chaewon looked away, her eyes settling on her boxes. When she looked at Wonyoung again, there were tears threatening to spill from her eyes.</p><p>"You know I'm right." Wonyoung whispered, her voice had lost that mere bit of confidence she had and turned wobbly.</p><p>Chaewon shook her head and reached for Wonyoung's hand once again. This time, she let her take it into hers and squeeze it softly. She didn't know whether she did it because Chaewon needed it, or because she did.</p><p>"Plans can change." Chaewon's voice had never sounded so desperate. She needed to hear Wonyoung say that everything would be fine if she stayed. She couldn't let go of her.</p><p>Wonyoung could read through her words, slowly bringing a hand up to her cheek to softly caress it.</p><p>"You're right," She told her and she did not miss the faint spark of hope in Chaewon's eyes at her words. "But they don't change overnight, Chaewon."</p><p>Wonyoung's words changed something in Chaewon's eyes. She slowly, unpleasantly, let go of her hand and looked around herself. She smiled bitterly when her eyes set on the boxes and all the stuff she had yet to pack.</p><p>"Should we get started, then?" She asked, her voice weaker then before. When she looked at her, Wonyoung noticed that her eyes looked dull. She didn't know, but Chaewon saw the same in hers. "There's still a lot of stuff I have to pack."</p><p>Wonyoung mirrored her bitter smile.</p><p>"Yes, we should."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—</p>
</div>It was around eleven when Chaewon was finally able to put her coat on, ready to leave work.<p>She bid her goodbye to Eunbi, wishing her a good night and reminding her of their appointment the next morning over coffee to discuss the last details of a deal they had been working on for quite awhile.</p><p>Once she got out of the twelve-floored building, she was engulfed by the darkness of the night. Chaewon was thankful that it wasn't too cold.</p><p>She took her time walking to her car, enjoying the unusual silence in the otherwise overcrowded street. She stopped next to the driver's door, looking for the keys in her purse. She cursed herself under her breath for refusing to keep it tidy. Every night it took her at least five minutes to find them.</p><p>When she finally did, she smiled triumphantly, wasting no time getting in. She started the car driving towards the small, but cozy flat that had been her home for the past three years. She couldn't believe it had been so long already.</p><p>However, she made a quick stop at the video store open until late at the corner of the main street before she made it home.</p><p>The owner wasn't there, but she recognised his nephew.</p><p>"Did Joe put you to work at this hour?" She said as soon as she entered. When the young boy heard her voice, he instantly smiled and looked her way.</p><p>"Let's say I volunteered when I saw him almost fall off the chair because he fell asleep."</p><p>His witty answer made Chaewon end up in a fit of giggles. She soon regained her composure and approached the counter.</p><p>"I told him he should close sooner." Chaewon shook her head disapprovingly. "He insists that most clients come at this hour."</p><p>The boy at the counter bit his bottom lip and was about to reply when suddenly a deep, rough voice was heard, making the boy jump in surprise.</p><p>"You always come at this hour, don't you?" Joe appeared from the back door, limping. Chaewon wondered when she had hurt himself since last week he walked just fine.</p><p>She rolled her eyes at the smug look on his face.</p><p>"Here," She reached from her purse to take a DVD out. "Safe and sound, just like you want." She joked, earning a scoff from the old man.</p><p>"Which one tonight?" Joe asked after handing the DVD to his nephew and telling him to put it in its place.</p><p>Chaewon smiled faintly, before speaking.</p><p>"Do you have a DVD of Aladdin?"</p><p>Joe looked at her as if she had grown two heads. "Aladdin? The movie adaption?"</p><p>Chaewon shook her head, her smile growing bigger. "No, the cartoon." Her words were confident.</p><p>Joe only looked more confused and was about to say something when he was interrupted by his nephew.</p><p>"Here it is." He showed her the DVD and handed it to her over the counter. He smiled at her kindly and Chaewon thanked him, Jack was still looking confusedly between the two of them.</p><p>"How much is it?" Chaewon asked them, rummaging through her purse for her wallet. When she opened it, her eyes lingered on the polaroid she kept inside.</p><p>Wonyoung's smile in that polaroid was still able to make her feel things she could not describe. Time had not been able to change that.</p><p>She remembered when the girl gave it back to her as she was about to board her plane and leave South Korea. They had asked their friends to be left alone for awhile. That was the hardest goodbye for Chaewon.</p><p>(<em>"I have something for you," Wonyoung had told her as she wiped at her eyes, tears streaming down her face. When Chaewon saw her reach for something inside her purse, she had never thought it would be the polaroid she had kept from her for so long. The look on her face must have given away her confusion because Wonyoung quickly told her that she wanted her to have it and explained why. "I still remember when you asked me if you could keep it. It sounded like it was important to you. Here, take it. So you won't forget me." Chaewon told her that she didn't need a polaroid in order not to forget her. There was no way she could ever do that. Still, she quickly took the polaroid Wonyoung handed her. As she did, she heard the voice of a steward announce that the boarding had started. She quickly put the polaroid inside her wallet and left a quick kiss on Wonyoung's forehead. She looked into her eyes and smiled. "I will never forget you. I love you. Always." She spent most of her flight looking at the polaroid and thinking about Wonyoung. In three years, she never took the polaroid out of her wallet.</em>)</p><p>"Did you hear me?" Joe's voice resonated in the small room stuffed with DVDs. It was enough to make Chaewon come back to reality.</p><p>"Sorry. What did you say?" She asked confusedly, looking at the grandfather and his nephew.</p><p>Joe sighed, walking towards her, still limping slightly. He took her wallet, closed it and put it back inside her purse.</p><p>"You don't have to pay for it." He told her with a fatherly smile. When Chaewon tried to argue, he held up a hand to stop her. "You won't change my mind."</p><p>Chaewon could do nothing other than thanking him at that point. Joe nodded his head and told her that it was fine.</p><p>"Now go, it's already late." He added, looking at the time on the huge clock hanging on the wall. "Someone's waiting for you at home."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—</p>
</div>When she closed the wooden door of her apartment behind her, Chaewon walked into the living room and let her body fall swiftly on the white sofa in the middle of the room, sighing tiredly.<p>Her day had been quite busy, having to deal with some customers whose requests were kind of hard to please. In the end, with the help of her co-workers, they had been able to find the perfect settlement. She almost couldn't believe that she was at home and could finally relax.</p><p>She stayed there for some minutes, her eyes fluttering close. She enjoyed the familiar atmosphere of the cozy apartment and smiled to herself.</p><p>She didn't regret going to New York.</p><p>She truly felt like everything in her life had turned out the way she wanted. There was nothing else she could wish for. She was happier than ever before.</p><p>She wouldn't lie, sometimes she did miss Seoul. Her family, her college friends; of course she would miss them. However, she knew that she had made the right choice when she boarded that plane and flew to New York.</p><p>She still remembered the happiness when she arrived at the airport and saw that Eunbi was waiting for her. She ran her way and engulfed her in a hug. That was enough to make Chaewon feel at home already.</p><p>The first days at work were nerve-racking as she found herself in a completely new environment. Her English wasn't that perfect, but time did help. Experience made everything better.</p><p>She still kept in contact with her group of college friends. They would often facetime one another to talk about everything and anything.</p><p>Last month, Minjoo had visited her. She spent a week in New York and Chaewon was enthusiastic at the idea of seeing her best friend again and showing her around the city. They had hugged for more than ten minutes when she picked her up from the airport.</p><p>Also, in about three weeks, Chaewon was going back to Seoul to take part in Hyewon's marriage. She couldn't wait to be one of Hyewon's bridesmaids and meet all her friends.</p><p>As she let her thoughts wander back to all the adventures they had gone through together, she couldn't help but feel nostalgic. Luckily, she felt a hand softly squeezing her shoulder.</p><p>The simple, yet so familiar touch made her lips stretch into a wide grin. When Chaewon opened her eyes, she turned around and was instantly met with a sight she was never going to get enough of.</p><p>Wonyoung was standing behind the sofa, displaying a warm smile on her lips. She had grown throughout the years; her hair was longer, her facial features had matured. Even though she had lost her baby face, when Chaewon looked at her, she still recognised the young and scared freshman who entered her room looking helpless.</p><p>"Tiring day?" the younger woman asked her in a tender way. Chaewon simply nodded her head, patting the space beside her on the sofa. Wonyoung laughed softly before going to sit next to her.</p><p>"You didn't have to stay up and wait for me." Chaewon told her, her voice coming out in a whisper.</p><p>Wonyoung simply laid her head on Chaewon's shoulder. The latter's body was instantly irradiated with warmth.</p><p>"Don't you ever get tired of telling me that?" Wonyoung replied, snuggling close to Chaewon's body. "You know I'm always going to wait for you."</p><p>Chaewon smiled, her arm draping behind the younger's back and she pulled her even closer to her.</p><p>"Plus, you went to Joe, didn't you?" Wonyoung asked her teasingly. "I believe there's a movie we have to watch."</p><p>"Aren't you tired?"</p><p>Wonyoung shook her head, temporarily detaching from her girlfriend's body to look at her. "Are you?"</p><p>Chaewon smiled and shook her head as well. "Not really."</p><p>Wonyoung laughed, knowing she was probably lying. It didn't matter, though. She was used to having Chaewon fall asleep in the middle of every movie they watched together. Weirdly, she liked it that way.</p><p>"Here," Chaewon handed the younger her purse. "I think you'll like it."</p><p>Wonyoung bit her lip as she rummaged through Chaewon's purse, the older's eyes on her.</p><p>When she took it out, her smile turned into an amused grin. "Feeling quite nostalgic today, aren't we?"</p><p>Chaewon groaned seeing her girlfriend's teasing look. Wonyoung laughed and moved her face closer to Chaewon's, leaving a soft peck on her lips.</p><p>"I love it." She admitted with that oh-so-beautiful smile that never seemed to leave her lips. "And I love you."</p><p>They stared into each other's eyes, before Chaewon softly whispered "I love you too", their lips meeting again for a kiss.</p><p>Wonyoung was just as happy as Chaewon. Sometimes, she still couldn't believe how happy she truly was.</p><p>After the older girl had left Seoul, she had tried everything to distract herself in order not to think about her. She mainly concentrated on her studies and in the end she had been able to graduate college on time with Yujin.</p><p>Her friends had thrown them a big party; this time, however, they had told them about it instead of making it a surprise.</p><p>Chaewon came back to Seoul just for the occasion.</p><p>When she saw her after so long, Wonyoung didn't have it in herself to fight the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Unlike the other times, Chaewon was quickly by her side and hugged her tightly.</p><p>Wonyoung had lost time of how much they stood there, the both of them crying. She didn't know whether it was five or ten minutes, but their friends did tease them afterwards, telling them that was probably the longest hug they had ever seen.</p><p>Still, when Wonyoung detached her body from Chaewon, she couldn't help but wish it would have lasted longer.</p><p>She remembered that as they were hugging she told something to the older girl. However, overwhelmed by the feeling of happiness erupting inside her chest, Wonyoung had no idea what it was that she had said.</p><p>Chaewon laughed amusedly at their friends' jokes and Wonyoung thought she had missed hearing her laughter.</p><p>Wonyoung wanted nothing but to spend the whole party by Chaewon's side. Nevertheless, she also needed to spend time with the other guests. It was her party, after all.</p><p>Once the night was over, Wonyoung had to say goodbye to Chaewon again.</p><p>She thought it'd be easier that time as she had already prepared for it. She knew Chaewon wouldn't stay too long because of work and would catch the plane the day before the party. In a way, it actually made her happier to know that she was willing to endure having to board two flights in the span of just two days only to see her — Yujin too, of course.</p><p>Nonetheless, it was just as hard as the first time. Still, she didn't cry. At least, she didn't do in front of Chaewon. They had parted their ways, once again, with a smile. Only when she was back home, Wonyoung let the tears fall.</p><p>No matter how hard it was to say goodbye to her for the second time, Wonyoung was glad that she had the chance of seeing her again.</p><p>Even though they always kept in touch, a few weeks after Chaewon's departure from Seoul for the first time Wonyoung had realised that it wasn't enough.</p><p>She had been able to push the thought aside by studying as hard as she could. When she wasn't studying, she made sure to go out with her friends.</p><p>However, after seeing Chaewon again, that feeling she had put in the back of her mind resurfaced once again.</p><p>She longed for having Chaewon close to her. She told herself that she should've been glad that she had been able to have her back for a night and to just move on.</p><p>She really meant it when she said that she would try. When she told Yujin, the girl made fun of her. Wonyoung truly wanted to prove her wrong.</p><p>That was until her life took an unexpected turn.</p><p>Wonyoung had ended up working for a South Korean enterprise who had a correspondance in New York. When she mindlessly applied for the job, she didn't even know about it. Since she was one of the few people working there who was capable of speaking English, her boss would often make her work with the American correspondents.</p><p>It was only after some months, when Wonyoung proved her loyalty to the enterprise, that her boss decided to send her to work in New York permanently.</p><p>The decision definitely took her by surprise. During her university years, the thought of living and working abroad had never crossed her mind. She wasn't even sure that she could actually manage to live by herself in a foreign country; the thought kind of scared her.</p><p>Nevertheless, as soon as she had realised what it could mean for her, she accepted her boss' offer without thinking about it twice.</p><p>The first thing she did after telling her family was contacting Chaewon. The woman sounded even more enthusiastic than her at the news.</p><p>She picked her up from the airport the day she arrived in New York, showed her around the city and then helped her settle into her new house.</p><p>Both of them were busy most days because of their jobs, but they would always find some time to meet whether it was over dinner or for a coffee.</p><p>It didn't take them long before they started dating. That's what they had always dreamt of, and none of them was willing to wait any longer. Also, given their previous experience, knowing the two worked well together, Wonyoung soon moved in Chaewon's apartment.</p><p>One time Wonyoung stopped to think whether they were moving too fast. Her mother would probably tell her to slow it down a little. Wonyoung laughed to herself at the realisation that she didn't care.</p><p>She had never been so happy; she didn't want it any other way.</p><p>Sometimes, her mind would go back to the memories of her college days. She was so young back then; she almost couldn't believe that she had waited until Chaewon was about to leave to confess.</p><p>Then again, seeing Chaewon leave, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop her, had been the hardest thing she had ever done. And she had to go through that feeling one more time.</p><p>Part of her was almost glad that Chaewon had decided to leave after her graduation. If she hadn't, Wonyoung might've never told her that she was in love with her.</p><p>Perhaps, Wonyoung and Chaewon were meant to part ways only to meet later.</p><p>Perhaps, it had been destiny all along that had kept the two away for so long. So that their reunion could be even sweeter.</p><p>Wonyoung didn't care about what it was that made them separate to then meet them again. The only thing that mattered to her was the fact that, after everything they had gone through, they were now together.</p><p>That was more than enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry if it was too long ... hope you like this ^-^</p></blockquote></div></div>
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